I, Emmo

I started to write fewer posts these days. Not only have I realized that publishing posts of quality which provide materials for people to ponder, writing news around the region which would otherwise be buried is more helpful than simply blurting out my immediate thoughts, but also has I been consumed by these posts by Estee with recent ones

“I was the heartbreaker” And “Walking Away Alive”

Funny Sad Angry Blue Joyful Poetic Insightful Past Future Bright

Grown up in an environment where logical thinking and fact-based argument are required of me, still I will be sentimental from time to time – when my thoughts pile and feelings gather, the surge of emotion overtaking my logic. That’s when my instinct betrays my decision, my actions go against my thinking.

“Don’t be that emotional, that’s only a movie!” My friends often say that to me when I shed tears for the genuine love of a mother for her children, celebrate the success of an underdog – enormous efforts and faith, or feel the pain a friend suffered from losing his best friend. Words and phrases used in the movie, songs sang at the end of a show make my emotion go unleashed before it hits a halt, with a trail of impacts done, being them good or bad.

Deprivation of being emotional in the past makes me more emotional nowadays, though I am not good at articulating my emotion yet. However, I discover when I share with my friends my emotion, there are several rules governing the content:

  1. The state of mind at that moment shapes my words. After watching an M18 movie, I get excited and intrigued by the content, thus what tell my friends would be more direct, in a storyteller’s tone. Hearing a friend’s sharing about her difficulty in choosing modules and filing for graduation, I will naturally become caring and encouraging. When I hear floods took away thousands of life in China, the voice of mine will sound small in personality yet defensive in tone. Remember my listener does not have the same knowledge as I do.
  2. There is a underlying criticism about myself. The criticism might be directed towards an incident, a person’s actions, a nation’s attitude, and most of the time – me myself. I need to be perfect, whatever is below the par is not acceptable. Though I start lowering my expectation in my life, that small voice asking me to remain competitive, keep perfectionism still sticks somewhere in my mind. Trying to accept, learning to commit and working to excel.
  3. Struggle between emotion and logic. Striking a balancing between emotion and logic thinking is some tough job for me. When I write to people or speak with friends, the idea of “Peter, don’t be too emotional” or “Peter that’s too logical” will hit my tongue and hand so hard that I could barely speak out what is in my mind. Pick one side, and be aware of the existence of the other side.

God has blessed us with emotions in life. Every one of us shall find a way to channel them out and refresh ourselves with new positive ones in life, because we are first emotional being before we could think and talk logically.

Today, are you emotional enough?

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