Lessons in Life: not that long, not that short.


My mind was filled with arguments about whether to argue about the values in people’s life, and how that is going to affect the person. And in the end, I would not be that nice after all towards things I dislike, though I think being nice to person is a basic rule of living.

I came across a blog post about ten lessons she learnt in her 23 years of life, most of which I disagree because of one reason or another:

Being a Christian, the two most important things in my life nowadays are my time of solitude and prayers, learning how to trust Jesus Christ to be my Lord through them. And only through Jesus, and his love, our wounds of the past could then be healed, pains could be taken away, joy could fill our heart again. I learned it in a hard way through trials and failures through my four years in the university. Though we can channel our emotions ups and downs into habits and addictions, but they will ultimately destroy us if we rely on them to solve the problems in our heart.

Parents, being the very people brought us alive onto this earth are always our parents, regardless we choose to spend more or less time with them because different circumstances we are in. However, developing a close relationship with parents, allowing them to be our friends, our mentors, our supporters takes much time and courage as well as a sense of willingness.

My friends are those people I choose to care for, those I like and have developed a certain level of intimacy with. While wanting to make friends with people I like, I also realize I have limited capacity to care for people in my life – my attention could be not spread across a growing circle of friends. Rev. Dr. A.R.Bernard mentioned in his sermon “Power of the mind”

When you discover you are the smartest person among your friends, it’s time to move on.

You may ask why? The reason: friends are those people who want to move forward with you, they should be as committed to growth as you are, open in sharing, and both internally and externally positive in life with a good character and integrity.

I want to improve myself constantly, in different areas which I could possibly find, broadening my knowledge while going deep with some areas I really love and are keen to explore. Thus I allow people to come and go in the circle of my friends, I want best friends I could have to go forward with me. When the definition of friend is diluted into acquaintance, the meaning of friend is lost also.

One last thing, it’s always good to have people disagree with me, to extreme, those who shout in my face, who argue with me because of different set of knowledge we have, and who guide me with their expertise in specific areas as well as more years in life. Though some are never intellectual, but many, provide me with alternative way of thinking about a problem, a truth, and allow me to examine my way of thinking and the fundamental set of beliefs that guide my life.



  1. Good thoughts. I’d like to comment on one though: “When you discover you are the smartest person among your friends, it’s time to move on”. My philosophy when I discover that I’m the smartest person is to bring other people up with me. I empower them to be smarter than I am (Andrew Carnegie only hired people that were smarter than him and he became the richest man in the world and the most famous philanthropis ever). So, when I discover I’m smarter I share my ideas with them. I lend them books which will help them to grow. I teel them about newsletters and articles I read which enhance my understanding of life. I don’t just move on. Moving on sends a message to people that you don’t value them … that the only value of their friendship is the utility you get out of it. Don’t you think so?

  2. Paige says:

    If Jesus is who He said He was, then wouldn’t it be reasonable to reference His life and actions as the model of a God centered life? In doing so, shouldn’t we examine how He treated those around Him? Did Jesus move on when he realized he was smarter than his friends?

Comments are closed.